Anxious children don’t feel safe and tend to be in a state
of ‘high alert’ or hyper vigilance most of the time. This is not the state of mind that is conducive
with learning. Maslow’s hierarchy
highlights ‘safety’ as the second level.
Before this is achieved, an individual can’t work towards meeting their
higher needs. Interestingly, Bruce Perry
in his work on the neuroscience of trauma, describes a similar hierarchy in
structure, functioning and development of the brain. The brainstem is the most primitive part of
the brain and the first to be fully developed.
It is the place where reflex, heartbeat, breathing, and the other basic
and vital processes are controlled. It is also the region of the brain that
takes control when an individual under extreme stress and anxiety, overriding the
higher cognitive functions of reasoned thought, language and reflection. In ‘survival mode’ the brainstem responds to
potential threat with fight, flight or freeze responses. An anxious child who is perpetually on high
alert will respond to what others would consider minor worries, with survival
responses. The outer behaviours of
fight, flight or freeze are what are often termed ‘challenging behaviours’ and
can be met with punitive reactions that will often push a child further into a
state of terror. Another common adult
response is to try and engage a child in a reasoned exchange, reflecting on
their behaviour and demanding answers, thoughts and reasoning that are beyond
the capacity of the brain stem. For a
child to be able to access the higher order functions of the brain such as
reflection of self and behaviour, empathy for another, reasoned thought and
problem solving, the child needs to feel
safe and secure. Maslow says the safety
needs of an individual include: protection from the elements,
security, order, rules, limits, boundaries, stability, etc. If one’s basic
safety needs are not met, one would be fearful, hesitant, and anxious and may
engage in fight, flight or freeze responses to new situations, experiences or
challenges.
So how can we help
anxious children feel safe when they are playing outside? Or at least how can we help children feel
safe enough to take challenges and engage in ‘risky play’, not how can we keep
children safe when they are playing outside. The difference is all about agency
and building resilience; if children feel safe enough to face challenges, they
can learn to keep themselves safe and cope with or overcome their fears.
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1. Build relationships that foster trust. Children learn to trust when the adults who
support them are ‘authentic’. That means
being who you say you are, being honest and ‘upfront’. Children who have experienced difficult
attachments are masters at spotting inauthentic practice. Do what you said you will do or, if that’s
not possible, make sure you explain why you can’t as soon and as clearly as
possible. Don’t make promises that you
are not certain you can fulfil. Be true to your own values and tell children
why you make the choices and decisions that you do. Playing outside is the best way to build
relationships with peers too, you can help a child to be trustworthy and to
develop trust in others through helping them to reflect in the moment, or later,
on the way they respond to others. Make
sure you don’t try to do this when the child is feeling under stress
though. Help reduce stress by giving
space, time and by soothing distress.
2. Giving consistency is the best
way for a child to feel safe. When you
are playing outdoors it’s great to have a sense of freedom but to enjoy that
freedom children need to feel that some things are always there and can be
relied upon. The first and most
important consistent factor is the individual that the child has learnt to
trust. If you are lucky enough to have a
team of adults with your group of children, ensure that the same people are
available for the same children each session wherever possible. If there are changes because of illness or
other reasons beyond your control make sure the child knows as soon as possible
that ‘their person’ is not going to be there and why. The other way of ensuring consistency is
through routine and session structure.
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3.Free play is the best vehicle for
learning and development outdoors, but if a session is too loose and open-ended,
anxious children will not cope and will start to push boundaries to find out
where those boundaries are and to feel contained within those boundaries. So the reliability of a session structure can
make a huge difference to the anxious child’s wellbeing and everyone’s
enjoyment of the session. I think of the
consistent structure of a session a framework or scaffolding that support the
free play of the children that can then fill the spaces in between. For example an important part of our sessions
is the consistency of the journey we go on each time. The route we take through the site has been
carefully worked out and leads us to four brilliant locations that offer huge
potential for free play. Each location
offers something different but they stay the same each session. How the children fill their time there is up
to them. The adults’ role is to help facilitate their play in these special
places. The Nature Nurture journey gives
a stable and secure foundation to the children’s learning and development. They know what to expect and that they are
free to take these opportunities and do what they like with them.
4.Linked to routine and structure
is what we often refer to as ‘rhythm’.
The planning that we do in Nature Nurture help us to keep in balance the
opportunities that we can open up for the children. For example, for children to feel well, secure
and to help them develop self-regulation in their emotions and interactions, we
need to ensure that they have a well-balanced ‘diet’ of activity and rest, engagement
and time to process, the space to be with others or alone, time to concentrate
in a focused way and time to daydream. Healthy children will naturally do this
for themselves through their free play, but children who are anxious will need
support through carefully selected locations to ensure they have the opportunities
to find their own healthy rhythms.
5.Last, but by no means least, is
helping children feel safe by helping them to develop the skills to keep
themselves safe. Anxious children are
vulnerable children. Outdoor play is the
best vehicle to help children develop confidence and to feel resilient enough
to face fears and to face challenges. This is probably one of the most
important gifts we can give children through access to outdoor play. The first thing that our children are amazed
about when they come to Nature Nurture is the way we respond to the ‘can we…?’
questions. They expect the answer to be ‘no’…
‘no you can’t climb trees’, ‘no you can’t play in the stream’, ‘no you can’t
light the fire’, ‘no you can’t use a sharp knife’. They are completely taken aback when we say ‘yes…..
what do you need to keep yourself safe while you do that?’ Together we most often come to the conclusion
that they need to learn some skills first to become ‘master’ of whatever it is
they want to do. So we teach children to climb trees, to light fires, to use
sharp tools and most importantly we teach them to risk assess and to learn
their own limits. We also help them see
that perseverance and practice can help them improve these skills and gain
mastery. When we see a child is becoming
confident we ask that child to help another to master the same challenges.
We’ve come full circle now, back
to trust. Trust in oneself is a key part
of feeling safe and secure, but is only possible when you have others you can
trust and who trust you.
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